A Leading Roll

I'm writing these posts for a few reasons.  Number one I like to write.  Number two they motivate me to stick to the program.  Number three, I hope I can inspire and offer hope to others who have COPD.  

I'm not writing to complain about my condition, to bitch and moan.  I writing and I'm rooting for the leading player in my life - ME.  I hope there will be a plot twist in the next few months.  I hope that by pushing different physical limits that the hero in this story will prevail, break some new ground, become stronger, and live with renewed vitality and vigor.  

In three paragraphs I've written the word 'hope' five times.  Without hope life can be damn depressing.   

Now For Something Completely Different

We humans are all creatures of habit.  We get into a pattern.  Our daily lives follow much the same form.  Rise roughly the same time every day, do our bathroom ritual, whatever private details that may include, in probably much the same order day after day.  Commute to work.  Starbucks.  Work.  Commute home.  Cocktails. Dinner.  Read.  Work.  Watch TV.  Bathroom routine.   Bed.  Make love with the spouse or lover - or not.  Sleep.  Dream.  Rise several hours later and do it all over again.  This is if you're lucky enough to be working and you're not mindless and living on the street.  Then your pattern is much closer to the pavement and  it's bare bones survival. 

If you're trying to break a habit, like quitting smoking, the resolve must be there, and it's easier if you break the life pattern too.  If you get up in the morning,  do the bathroom ritual, with a pack of cigarettes smiling at you next to the sink, or sit down to your usual breakfast, sipping the coffee and nearing the time you'd usually light up a smoke, chances are you probably will grab one, because the strong resolve you had last night has vanished this morning amidst your normal daily pattern.  

But, if you get up and immediately go to the gym without the coffee and breakfast pattern, you're out of your normal mode.  Your body reacts differently and your mind is occupied with other activities other than inhaling nicotine.  Now, if you can continue to break your daily pattern until sleep, you may just be on the path to finally becoming a non smoker.

So too in dealing with COPD.  Or perhaps better said, coping with COPD.  COPE with COPD. You have to break your pattern.  If you live your life like you always have, your breathless meanderings, from breakfast to lunch to dinner to bed, the disease will progress and eventually you will be dragging an oxygen tank around with you.  

I'm a classic example - A prime rib roast and garlic 'n butter mashed potatoes loving guy with a penchant for chilled buttery tasting Chardonnays stuck in a pattern.  The deeper I get into the pattern the worst my breathing becomes and  more disability is established.  A few years ago my meanderings were bearable and doable, I could get around, even tromped all over Moscow one winter.  But now, even getting around the house is a difficult journey.  As promised by Western medicine, my disease has progressed.  So, I can either accept the progression and wait for the inevitable, or I can change my pattern and halt the onslaught.  

I'm resisting the terminology "fighting for my life."  Or "battling the disease."   Sounds like a CNN broadcaster, "fighting the insurgency," winning the "war on terror."  I prefer the mind set or the disposition of intelligent inner healing.  Utilizing a new strategy on time, space, sound, and new action to bring about the desired result of better bodily functioning.  

http://www.imeem.com/groups/ov_dajXb/music/Z1UpiMFq/deva-premal-moola-mantra-incantation/

Step 1.  Eat very lightly for a couple of days, no meat, just maybe rice and some lightly steamed vegetable, lots of water.

Step 2.  Do a cleanse.  I chose the Wild Rose 12 day cleanse. This will clean out any toxins in the system and empty the upper and lower intestine.   

Step 3.  Simultaneously with the cleanse I'm drinking only herbal teas, diluted fruit juice, and broths.  That will give my body a rest from ingesting, digesting, and eliminating food, all of which takes over 60% of the body's energy.  Now the body is relieved of this normal daily function, it can turn it's wisdom to healing.   Step 4.  Begin to practice the Buteyko breathing method.  Google Dr. Buteyko.   Better yet work with a knowledgeable seasoned practitioner. 

I highly recommend Christopher Drake.  His practice is in Thailand, but he works beautifully on Skype.  It's like you're in the same room and is wisdom on breathing and physiology is, dare I say, breathtaking.  http://cpdrake.googlepages.com/christopherp.drake 

Very subtle changes are already beginning to occur.  A few days ago my feet and ankles were swollen, today they're not.  Why?  I'm not sure, less work for the liver and digestive system creates more blood flow to my extremities?  Could be.  Whatever the reason, I'm grateful.  

If we rate my morning cough on a scale of one to ten, the last few weeks have been ten, today it was seven and one half.   I still have lots of mucous, my energy is still low, but there are some positive changes that in all likelihood would not have happened had I still been in my meat and potatoes, Chardonnay rhythm.

So, the body is weak but the spirit is willing.  I used to say to my doctors as long as I can walk and make love I'll be fine.  Well... walking around ain't great, and if it wasn't for the nitric oxide opening up my blood vessels and capillaries I'd be hooped. 

Thank God for Dr. Konstantin Buteyko and Mr. Pfeizer, I'm still in the game.  Ernest Hemingway killed himself when he couldn't write or make love any more.  I think the famous blue pill would have saved him.  

I love the image in this post.  The guy looks tormented.  I image he used to be able to run like a friggin' horse, but now with his COPD he can barely walk.  Poor bastard.  I can relate.  

First The Bad News

I lost all the benefit I gained from the 28 day fast by going back to my old ways.  Steaks and wine in abundance do not work in this old body.  A heavy diet puts too much strain on my weakened system resulting in havoc and over breathing.  I last posted a month ago and it feels like I'm living in a different world.  

Returned to that dreaded place - breathless upon exertion.  And I’m waking up to the morning cough and holding in my intestines so the dam doesn’t burst again causing another hernia.  Must end this horrid morning ritual.  I’m eating only baby food today and tomorrow with lots of water.  Still having my morning coffee for its laxative value.  One bowel movement today. 

I have tons of clay-like mucous in my lungs.  I’m convinced once this is eliminated my cough will stop. 

Sunday May 11, day three I’ll begin diluted fruit juice and the Wild Rose cleanse.  I’ve been preaching the life style change now it’s time to take my own medicine and walk the walk.  I’m plenty good at the talk - now it’s time to take action.

Speaking of walking I want to wander the streets of Rome this fall, or St. Petersburg, some foreign city reeking with history.  I want to be able to stroll around effortlessly.

My Lindy Lou was in Paris for her 60th birthday.  Now that's the way to celebrate!  She emailed me and said she must have walked 100 miles one day. I thought how wonderful.  I want to do that.  

I couldn’t travel in the state I’m in.  So, this summer I must get my body into the physical condition where I can.  I just want the simple pleasure of walking.

I lay on the slant board for a while and expelled some mucous, had a dull pain in my chest, which seemed to be pressure from my breastbone, as it was alleviated when I stretched my arms over my head. 

Continued soreness and sensitivity near my hernia scar.  A few days ago it seemed another eruption might happen on the other side of my groin.   All this is caused by pressure from the coughing fit.  My first priority is to eliminate the cough.

As bad as I feel, I sometimes think these could be the good old days.  With my body starving for oxygen I’m ripe for cancer or a stroke.    I have three conditions to rectify or improve upon, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, COPD.  PAH Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and tachycardia.   Whew!

My body is out of balance.  Back to the basics, water, oxygen, sunshine and movement. 

I’m drinking lots of water.  I’m hydrating which I normally neglect.  Monday day four I’ll begin my Buteyko breathing practice.  I’m going to stretch my body and I’m looking for a rebounder.  Jump for joy!   When my breathlessness eases up I’ll begin walking.  Spring is in the air.  I’m so looking forward to sitting in the sunshine. 

I feel a bit like I’m training for an athletic event.  And much of sporting performance is mental.  So I’m trying to get my head into the game.  Stay tuned.