A Leading Roll

I'm writing these posts for a few reasons.  Number one I like to write.  Number two they motivate me to stick to the program.  Number three, I hope I can inspire and offer hope to others who have COPD.  

I'm not writing to complain about my condition, to bitch and moan.  I writing and I'm rooting for the leading player in my life - ME.  I hope there will be a plot twist in the next few months.  I hope that by pushing different physical limits that the hero in this story will prevail, break some new ground, become stronger, and live with renewed vitality and vigor.  

In three paragraphs I've written the word 'hope' five times.  Without hope life can be damn depressing.   

Now For Something Completely Different

We humans are all creatures of habit.  We get into a pattern.  Our daily lives follow much the same form.  Rise roughly the same time every day, do our bathroom ritual, whatever private details that may include, in probably much the same order day after day.  Commute to work.  Starbucks.  Work.  Commute home.  Cocktails. Dinner.  Read.  Work.  Watch TV.  Bathroom routine.   Bed.  Make love with the spouse or lover - or not.  Sleep.  Dream.  Rise several hours later and do it all over again.  This is if you're lucky enough to be working and you're not mindless and living on the street.  Then your pattern is much closer to the pavement and  it's bare bones survival. 

If you're trying to break a habit, like quitting smoking, the resolve must be there, and it's easier if you break the life pattern too.  If you get up in the morning,  do the bathroom ritual, with a pack of cigarettes smiling at you next to the sink, or sit down to your usual breakfast, sipping the coffee and nearing the time you'd usually light up a smoke, chances are you probably will grab one, because the strong resolve you had last night has vanished this morning amidst your normal daily pattern.  

But, if you get up and immediately go to the gym without the coffee and breakfast pattern, you're out of your normal mode.  Your body reacts differently and your mind is occupied with other activities other than inhaling nicotine.  Now, if you can continue to break your daily pattern until sleep, you may just be on the path to finally becoming a non smoker.

So too in dealing with COPD.  Or perhaps better said, coping with COPD.  COPE with COPD. You have to break your pattern.  If you live your life like you always have, your breathless meanderings, from breakfast to lunch to dinner to bed, the disease will progress and eventually you will be dragging an oxygen tank around with you.  

I'm a classic example - A prime rib roast and garlic 'n butter mashed potatoes loving guy with a penchant for chilled buttery tasting Chardonnays stuck in a pattern.  The deeper I get into the pattern the worst my breathing becomes and  more disability is established.  A few years ago my meanderings were bearable and doable, I could get around, even tromped all over Moscow one winter.  But now, even getting around the house is a difficult journey.  As promised by Western medicine, my disease has progressed.  So, I can either accept the progression and wait for the inevitable, or I can change my pattern and halt the onslaught.  

I'm resisting the terminology "fighting for my life."  Or "battling the disease."   Sounds like a CNN broadcaster, "fighting the insurgency," winning the "war on terror."  I prefer the mind set or the disposition of intelligent inner healing.  Utilizing a new strategy on time, space, sound, and new action to bring about the desired result of better bodily functioning.  

http://www.imeem.com/groups/ov_dajXb/music/Z1UpiMFq/deva-premal-moola-mantra-incantation/

Step 1.  Eat very lightly for a couple of days, no meat, just maybe rice and some lightly steamed vegetable, lots of water.

Step 2.  Do a cleanse.  I chose the Wild Rose 12 day cleanse. This will clean out any toxins in the system and empty the upper and lower intestine.   

Step 3.  Simultaneously with the cleanse I'm drinking only herbal teas, diluted fruit juice, and broths.  That will give my body a rest from ingesting, digesting, and eliminating food, all of which takes over 60% of the body's energy.  Now the body is relieved of this normal daily function, it can turn it's wisdom to healing.   Step 4.  Begin to practice the Buteyko breathing method.  Google Dr. Buteyko.   Better yet work with a knowledgeable seasoned practitioner. 

I highly recommend Christopher Drake.  His practice is in Thailand, but he works beautifully on Skype.  It's like you're in the same room and is wisdom on breathing and physiology is, dare I say, breathtaking.  http://cpdrake.googlepages.com/christopherp.drake 

Very subtle changes are already beginning to occur.  A few days ago my feet and ankles were swollen, today they're not.  Why?  I'm not sure, less work for the liver and digestive system creates more blood flow to my extremities?  Could be.  Whatever the reason, I'm grateful.  

If we rate my morning cough on a scale of one to ten, the last few weeks have been ten, today it was seven and one half.   I still have lots of mucous, my energy is still low, but there are some positive changes that in all likelihood would not have happened had I still been in my meat and potatoes, Chardonnay rhythm.

So, the body is weak but the spirit is willing.  I used to say to my doctors as long as I can walk and make love I'll be fine.  Well... walking around ain't great, and if it wasn't for the nitric oxide opening up my blood vessels and capillaries I'd be hooped. 

Thank God for Dr. Konstantin Buteyko and Mr. Pfeizer, I'm still in the game.  Ernest Hemingway killed himself when he couldn't write or make love any more.  I think the famous blue pill would have saved him.  

I love the image in this post.  The guy looks tormented.  I image he used to be able to run like a friggin' horse, but now with his COPD he can barely walk.  Poor bastard.  I can relate.  

First The Bad News

I lost all the benefit I gained from the 28 day fast by going back to my old ways.  Steaks and wine in abundance do not work in this old body.  A heavy diet puts too much strain on my weakened system resulting in havoc and over breathing.  I last posted a month ago and it feels like I'm living in a different world.  

Returned to that dreaded place - breathless upon exertion.  And I’m waking up to the morning cough and holding in my intestines so the dam doesn’t burst again causing another hernia.  Must end this horrid morning ritual.  I’m eating only baby food today and tomorrow with lots of water.  Still having my morning coffee for its laxative value.  One bowel movement today. 

I have tons of clay-like mucous in my lungs.  I’m convinced once this is eliminated my cough will stop. 

Sunday May 11, day three I’ll begin diluted fruit juice and the Wild Rose cleanse.  I’ve been preaching the life style change now it’s time to take my own medicine and walk the walk.  I’m plenty good at the talk - now it’s time to take action.

Speaking of walking I want to wander the streets of Rome this fall, or St. Petersburg, some foreign city reeking with history.  I want to be able to stroll around effortlessly.

My Lindy Lou was in Paris for her 60th birthday.  Now that's the way to celebrate!  She emailed me and said she must have walked 100 miles one day. I thought how wonderful.  I want to do that.  

I couldn’t travel in the state I’m in.  So, this summer I must get my body into the physical condition where I can.  I just want the simple pleasure of walking.

I lay on the slant board for a while and expelled some mucous, had a dull pain in my chest, which seemed to be pressure from my breastbone, as it was alleviated when I stretched my arms over my head. 

Continued soreness and sensitivity near my hernia scar.  A few days ago it seemed another eruption might happen on the other side of my groin.   All this is caused by pressure from the coughing fit.  My first priority is to eliminate the cough.

As bad as I feel, I sometimes think these could be the good old days.  With my body starving for oxygen I’m ripe for cancer or a stroke.    I have three conditions to rectify or improve upon, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, COPD.  PAH Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension and tachycardia.   Whew!

My body is out of balance.  Back to the basics, water, oxygen, sunshine and movement. 

I’m drinking lots of water.  I’m hydrating which I normally neglect.  Monday day four I’ll begin my Buteyko breathing practice.  I’m going to stretch my body and I’m looking for a rebounder.  Jump for joy!   When my breathlessness eases up I’ll begin walking.  Spring is in the air.  I’m so looking forward to sitting in the sunshine. 

I feel a bit like I’m training for an athletic event.  And much of sporting performance is mental.  So I’m trying to get my head into the game.  Stay tuned.

 

 

Life's Journey Make It A Good Ride

Life's a journey it may as well be in a good ride.  Healthy people take the ride for granted and it's only when the "apparatus" begins to fail that the illusion ends. 

I'm meeting a young man tomorrow who no longer takes anything for granted. Daniel Northcott had the world by the tail.  He roamed the planet for 10 years and recorded over 1,000 hours of his adventures on video.  All he had to do was assemble his movie.   He became ill in Taiwan and returned home.  His mother didn't recognize him at the airport so ravaged was he by the disease. He was diagnosed with a very rare form of blood cancer.  

The prognosis - six months to live.  

Mom always told him how lucky he was to have his health.  And he realizes now how he took his health for granted.  His mission is to restore his health by whatever means.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?=J8MZ6ylA8lY

I too am trying to restore my health so I feel as though I am meeting a brother.  I feel karma and kinship.  I want to see him thrive physically and creatively.  I want to witness his miracle.  

I admire the strength and courage of my fellow human being.  And I want to be there for him.  I feel it in my heart.  His song is my song.  

Day 29 - Human Anatomy Houses Your Spirit

Seconds after the moment of conception we are a cluster of 100 trillion cells, more than there are stars in the Milky Way.  Each cell completes six trillion tasks a second and knows what all the other cells are doing.   That is just frigging amazing!  

I ended my juice and broth fast several days ago.  Solid food, what a heavenly treat.  First meal - I steamed some broccoli and carrots, I garnished them with a bit of creamery butter, a dash of sea salt and ground black pepper.  It was delicious and all 100 trillion cells rejoiced and enjoyed the feast. 

What did my fast accomplish?  I'm certainly not cured of COPD, but I feel a hell of a lot better than I did last month.  The breathlessness has decreased substantially, I have more energy, and there is a new sense of ease in my body.  My morning cough returned surprisingly a couple of days ago.  This was the disease letting me know that it still exists.  Nice try buddy, but I'm still here, can't get rid of me that easily.  

Now my objective is to follow a healthier diet and lifestyle than I did prior to the fast, so as not to diminish the gains I've accomplished.  My diet will be lighter, with more fresh fruit and vegetables.  I will eat only good organic cuts of meat, but not on a daily basis.  Daily walks in the forest or by the ocean.

Oxygen is the primary food, and I will partake by daily practice of the Buteyko Method.  In May I'll begin new sessions with the world's most talented Buteyko Practitioner, Christopher Drake http://cpdrake.googlepages.com/christopherp.drake

Now more than ever I believe the great teacher Rudolph Steiner's proclamation, "For this is a great secret: all the healing forces reside originally in the human breathing system."   During the summer I'll do another juice fast, this time I'll have hot weather as support.  Being empty and sitting in the sun with a glass of water in your hand is a glorious feeling.  

For those suffering with COPD the key is to try and not let the body be overwhelmed by the disease.  And that's exactly what will happen if you do nothing yourself to stop its progression.  

There are many stages of the disease, and this must be considered when planning your own treatment.  The earlier stages are best suited for self-treatment, but even severe stages can be improved upon.  Keep the blood clean and thin. Maintain the blood's "highways" and keep them dilated.  Be vigilant of your breath. Cultivate the habit of good breathing by learning and practicing the Buteyko Breathing Method.  Economize sleep.  Sit in the sunshine.  Enjoy the marvels of life.  Feel LOVE - receive it and radiate it.   

Day 21 - Matters Of The Heart

I haven't written a post for five days.  I hurt and may have lost someone I love dearly.   Now the fast isn't as important as matters of the heart.  I'm feeling rather miserable emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  I feel I've destroyed something beautiful and precious.  And I've created two heartaches; hers and mine.    

Physically my COPD symptoms have improved.  I had a root canal and was able to lie on my back with my feet raised and mouth forced wide open for over two hours.  That would have been an impossible feat for me a month ago.  My blood pressure is down to 125/75.

I'm going to ratchet up my Buteyko practice, pushing my maximum pauses further.  I'm hoping the increased carbon dioxide and nitric oxide will help heal my broken heart.

I feel like eating a medium rare steak and drinking one too many martinis.  That's a sure way of dulling this pain.  To see love and laughter in her eyes again would too.  

http://www.remedialbreathing.com/breath_hold_test

 

Day 16 - Monk Feelings And Pavlov's Dog

A fast separates the self from normal daily living.  The rhythm is broken. No buying food.  No preparing food.  No eating food.  No digesting food.  No eliminating food.  I feel isolated.   We spend our entire lives eating.  Stopping that puts a different slant on just about everything.

It's a new world that is void of food.  Emotions roll and boil.  I can feel my heart beat easier. I can feel me better.  There is no food but plenty of reflection.

I hear some distant spiritual bells, they sound familiar, but seemingly from a past life.  I feel monk-like.  My physical being is slowly changing.  I feel my lower intestines empty.  Although I still made a trip to the outhouse.   I'll get a colonic in a day or two.  My stomach is definitely empty.  I'd like to empty my mind too, get rid of the constant chatter and wandering, but that continues.  It stills somewhat when I do my breathing work.  I have a Pavlov's dog experiment underway.  When I sit down to do my breathing I ring a small brass bell.  I alert my brain and body that it is time to shift gears.  Breathing will now be controlled.  Breathing will now become the centre of awareness.  Breath will begin its healing power.  

I feel stronger.  I'm not always happy, who is?   I move around quite effortlessly in the house,  joyous walking is no longer a forgotten woe.  My senses seems to be more acute.  My skin is smoother, tighter around the eyes.  I'm more at ease.  I can lie on my back and relax.  That seems like such a normal thing to be able to do, but a few weeks ago that relax-on-the-beach-feeling was not available to me.  My body is enjoying its new state of being.  I am too.